For Single Eyes Only: update

I thought it might be time to describe my experience since posting about my recent change in mindset concerning being a single Christian. This will make much more sense if you go back and read For Single Eyes Only first. The hope here is that my story will strike a chord with one or two who have been or are where I was.

First I need to back up about 7 years. When I surrendered to Jesus so much changed about me. For the first time in my life I made up my mind and refused to look at any woman in any other way than with utmost respect. I was careful on the internet, “bounced” my eyes, didn’t entertain bad thoughts, etc. etc. etc. I was happy; I felt some joy in being on the right track. The problem was I did it out of fear, fear that if I messed up and sinned again I would be cast out by God.

As I continued and grew in my faith I saw things differently. Eventually I began to comprehend that I am saved by grace and not of myself. Ironically (I think you would agree this applies to most or all of us), the more I understood how grace got me in and not my works, the worse my works became. It doesn’t make sense to me, but it happens. Since that time I saw old mindsets creep in. At the time of the other post I mentioned I finally woke up and realized that even though I desired to be a Godly husband . . . I wasn’t ready. There was very little Godliness about the way I viewed women to build a marriage on.

There is still so much to do in this next year, more than I can imagine. For the first time in years though, God has brought me back to a place where I have the determination to bounce my eyes or close them or whatever else is required to love women as myself. Honestly I’m almost afraid to say anything about it yet. I’m terrified that I’ll take a step backwards, I love it here! YOU can be here too. It may not take a set-aside year for others, but it’s what I needed. Either way, if you are single I can’t recommend highly enough that you take this time to stop worrying about being single and work on being who the person you’re looking for is looking for.

In one of Andy Stanley’s sermons he mentioned a verse that became central to him. I kind of shrugged it off at the time, but I get it now. I have lost count of how many times it has popped into my head, like when a friend tried to set me up with his coworker a few weeks ago. I’m going to just post a part of that verse here; think about it.

Nehemiah 6:3 “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.”


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