I could feel it, that feeling when everything in your stomach threatens to pay you another visit. And not just once, but several times. (Yes I know my grammar is off, but hey, it’s MY blog after all.) It’s difficult to push through nausea, not that I exactly “pushed” through; I eased up until it dissipated and then started again.
Yesterday I couldn’t take it any longer, I had to begin the next phase of my journey to becoming the man I was called to be, both in preparation for being a Godly husband and simply a Godly man. Lust isn’t completely defeated, but it’s well under way. True respect for all women isn’t completely fulfilled, but God is taking me there. If I am serious about becoming the man the woman I’m looking for is looking for, I have to work on physical things.
Please consider my next statements carefully before judging.
Looks are certainly not the most important thing when looking for someone, but they do hold some weight. Physical attraction often gets things started. I try to be realistic; I know that real women don’t often look like covergirls and am not looking for one. HOWEVER, I simply won’t pursue a relationship with a woman I’m not attracted to. I look for at least some degree of fitness, not a marathon runner necessarily, or even a woman “built like a brick house”.
I find women attractive who are somwehat fit, but haven’t pursued that myself. I basically despise strenuous activity I’m not being paid for. I hate sweating. HATE. IT. BUT, the woman I will soon be looking for would be looking for a man who takes care of himself, because she does. It wouldn’t be right for me to look for something I am unwilling to pursue myself. I had to do it.
I mostly walked a mile and a half or so, though I did run at intervals. The nausea first showed itself there. Then I did some pushups and jumping jacks (didn’t really know anything else to do, though I’ve been researching this morning). The nausea popped back up a couple more times, but this is important to me so I kept on going.
In the end, I was disgusted at how out of shape I have become. It felt good though to take the first steps to becoming the person the person I’m looking for is looking for, if for no other reason than expecting first of myself what I expect of a future wife.
I invite you to join me, not necessarily in exercising, but in becoming a whole single person during this time. Join me in becoming who he/she is looking for. Join me in becoming satisfied and close to God before seeking a spouse.