This will be fairly short and sweet . . .
In my previous post I spoke about my feelings regarding unemployment. I have heard of the struggle before from others but totally underestimated the agony. I couldn’t understand how such a simple thing could have such a profound effect on peoples’ faith. My faith has been utterly stretch to its limit. I have felt abandoned and betrayed. I missed a lot of what the speakers said today as I gathered with the Church, but a couple things grabbed me.
The job, or more generally, the path I am meant to be on has become an idol to me. I’ve been asking God with good intentions to show or tell me where to go, but I haven’t even been paying Him much attention in the matter. I forgot how He fed 5000 with a few fish and loaves of bread; I wasn’t trusting Him.
I came home tonight, put on some music, sat in the floor, and wept. It’s not something I do very often, but it always offers relief and renewal. I prayed earnestly and offered myself. I no longer ask for direction, but for God to take me where He wants me, even if it’s not my first choice. I won’t pretend to know exactly what “seeking first His kingdom and righteousness” means, but it’s what I’m doing. I seek Him first and trust He will provide for my needs.
He will show up. More accurately, He already has. It will be good, you’ll see. Stick around a little bit.