Outside looking in

I think it’s a curse… ok so maybe not a curse so much as some identified tendencies which I can’t seem to identify, yes I know that was redundant.

For those just tuning in:
A. I basically swore off “dating” until this august to become more like the guy that the girl I’m looking for would be looking for.
B. I am a class a example of an introvert. I think too much, although it has its perks.

Upon recent introspection I detected a pattern; I’m not sure it’s a diagnosis, and I definitely don’t know the prescription, but I have found a symptom.

Why am I sharing all this? Not sure, but I guess I hope someone out there can skip a few steps and have an easier road than I.

I am simply awful with available women. No I mean it, can’t even keep a “just friends” relationship, even when that’s legit all I’m seeking. Give me a married or otherwise unavailable female and I can carry on great conversation.. Funny, witty, the works, and with no ill intent I would like to add. Send one my way whom is both single and one I could be interested in.. Poof. I’m like a wizard; I make them disappear in a hot second. I don’t lack confidence; I don’t think i come off stalkerish; I don’t lose all sense of charm. I’m at a loss for what it is, but it is.

Now what? Heck if I know. Can’t say for sure I want to change; if it’s a fault then sure I want to be better. If not, i rather enjoy being myself.

I imagine some of you are like me, you constantly look for what it is you are supposed to be learning in this time of life. Here’s hoping I figure it out soon, if I’m supposed to.

I’m a big boy; I’ll be fine. Being a better version of fine would be a nice touch though 😉

Please, no cliche encouragement here; all else is welcomed.

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