I’m calling Bull

It seems that making lists of things is the “thing” right now. Based on the facts that I want to get back to posting regularly and take a break from dark posts, I thought why not make a list? The thing is, I think this one will turn out to be dark anyway, or cynical at best.

The first thing that popped in my mind when I began considering a list is a compilation of things single girls say or do that are off-putting to us, their counterparts. I doubt any single females care one way or the other what I say, but it should at least provide them a chance to rant and give my fellow guys a chance to pat me on the back.

  • The twitter post, “if a guy did _____ I would marry him”: when we see this we are calling BS in our mind. What you really mean is if a guy who fits my ideal standards of physical attraction also had checks in all the other little boxes on my list came along I would marry him.
  • “All I want is someone who makes me laugh.” Again, bull. What I hear is she wants to handpick her perfect guy and install an app which makes him hilarious.
  • Derivatives of: “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.” Everyone with any sense knows that even if we aren’t looking for a relationship we would be open to it if someone we are attracted to comes along. I’m not sure what response would be both gentle and honest, but it would be nice if all of us humans gave it a shot.
  • “It’s so attractive when a guy is strong in his faith, loves Jesus etc.” –only if he looks just like the made up guy she daydreams about
  • “I love it when guys are good with kids.” See the preceding comment
  • #MCM  Hopefully all women have noticed how fragile many of our egos are. This particular trend, along with all the other posts and comments about their ideal famous husband-to-be immediately signals a red flag. Upon that red flag is written in big bold letters, “You will never be good enough for me.”
  • confusing us: This one is tricky and depends on the individual. I can’t speak for all guys here; I have always considered myself one who picks up quickly on signals. Even so, ladies, some of you make it extremely difficult to read between the lines. You aren’t really interested but are still willing to text/talk/hangout, sometimes being the initiator. You carry on long conversations. You unmistakeably flirt. You smile and laugh. Please, if you aren’t genuinely interested in a feller (my roots are showing) make a point of making that clear, or at least not leaving any room for him to misunderstand.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I come back to this list in the future and add to it; I hope that won’t be considered subtweeting because that is a bit aggravating as well. I would love to hear both from ladies who protest this list and guys who want to correct it or add to it.

Believe it or not, I’m not an entirely bitter person by the way. Cynical, yes. Pessimistic, depends on who you ask. Bitter, depends on the question.

Much love to all my female readers! I get annoyed, but I am wise enough to know that we all have our endearing qualities.


4 thoughts on “I’m calling Bull

  1. ““It’s so attractive when a guy is strong in his faith, loves Jesus etc.” –only if he looks just like the made up guy she daydreams about”

    “I love it when guys are good with kids.” See the preceding comment

    I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel like this through whatever circumstances have befallen you. But speaking solely for myself here, it IS really attractive when a guy is strong in his faith and loves Jesus, and when he’s good with kids, regardless of whether or not he checks my ‘physical attractiveness boxes.’

    And I’m curious — do you not have a list? Have you never met a girl who loves Jesus and is great with kids whom you don’t find attractive and therefore don’t consider a relationship with her?

    I call BS.

    • I’m glad to hear from you. There are several things for me to address:
      1. Believe it or not, this list is mostly based not on my experiences, though I admit I have had some which left behind bitterness, but on observation. Perhaps erroneously, I consider myself a student of what happens around me. The list is based on those things which I see and hear from single Christian females which upon seeing I mentally say, “that’s a lie.” I don’t assert it is intentional, only that we too often lie by leaving out part of the truth.
      2. Nope. It is still not “attractive”; endearing? Yes. But I worded it that way for a reason. I believe that is not the truth. When I see that statement I truly feel the woman means it is a good thing for the guy to have, but is only attractive on one she would otherwise consider so.
      3. I do indeed have a list. I have indeed met many wonderful ladies with great qualities whom I am attracted. I do not make comments such as: “if I only just meet a girl who loves Jesus, has a good sense of humor, and is great with kids.” I don’t do that because that is only part true. I think of the great women out there who fit that description who I would not be interested in.
      4. I’m not “on the hunt” right now. I suppose what bothers me the most is seeing or hearing those types of comments and thinking of all my brothers out there screaming, “I wish you’d just give me a chance!” I read a twitter status about how all guys are jerks or how she just wants a guy who will love Jesus more than her and it makes me angry, because I know there are probably at least 2 or 3 around who not only fit that description, but are great guys; it simply isn’t true though. She overlooks them every time.

      There’s no way you can know this, but I am quick to admit I’m wrong. Sometimes I even apologize when it’s not my fault for peace’s sake. This time though, I can’t bring myself to say I was wrong.

      Regardless, I’m glad you commented, especially considering I invited it and meant it when I did so.

      • All of those are fair points, and obviously we all come at these things with our own circumstances. For me, my comment came from being the “friend” in a few relationships where I would have liked to have dated my friend, but a couple admitted that solely because they don’t find me attractive, in ways that I can’t fix, they weren’t interested.

        I personally believe that that actual ‘attraction’ can be built over time, but, what do I know?

        With more information (thanks for providing it!), I see that you weren’t coming from the same place I thought you were, and I can understand your comments a lot better. Thanks for expanding!

        I quite enjoy your blog, keep it up 🙂

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