I’m not the only one

Sometimes it’s comforting; quite often it breaks my heart. It shows up most often just before bed as I’m praying; it usually comes with a smile and leaves with grief. What is it? It’s the knowledge that I’m not the only one. 
While there is comfort in knowing I’m not alone there is deep pain for, well quite possibly, you. Sometimes I wish I actually was alone and that my brothers and sisters in faith were all doing great. I wish you didn’t struggle with sins of your past anymore, that there hadn’t been lots of dark days in the recent past, that you never feel the pain of realizing you’ve been a hypocrite, that you don’t have doubts, and especially that you live an obedient God honoring life each day. 
 I would like to be the only one full of regret at day’s end, the only one not fully living the life God would have for me, but I know I’m not. And while it helps sometimes to know that I don’t feel it alone, it hurts to know you share my pain. 
This is not about shaming you and I. I think we’re already well aware of the room we have to grow. This is about letting you know that you’re not alone. I feel bad too. I’ve had my heart broken because of my own foolish decisions too. I’ve hung my head in shame too. I’ve wandered away from the God I love, far too often, also. I’ve wasted time, been lazy, and gotten lost in a maze of total confusion about what I should do next. I want you to know you’re not the only one, that you have a brother who hurts alongside you, that we have a Father who always knew we would be right here right now, and He chose to love us anyway. I also want you to know I need you’re prayers because…
you’re not the only one. 

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