I usually spend a large amount of time crafting my posts to read exactly a certain way, but I think it’s time to just share for a moment. 
I have landed somewhat suddenly back into being single. And though it hasn’t been that long since I was alone, it’s still tough readjusting. Even though I know this is right for me at this time, it doesn’t make it any easier. I miss having someone who can’t wait to see me, having somewhere to go, someone to share how my day went with, I’m sure you’ve been there before. 
Short version: I met a girl, and we clicked probably better than any other girl I’ve known. We went on a date, and I decided it wouldn’t work; the end. I met another girl soon after, and I thought I had found her. You know, the one God had for me. For whatever reasons she changed her mind and I took it hard. In loneliness I crawled back to the first girl after having suddenly stopped talking to her. I just wanted a friend, a girl, someone to talk to. It didn’t stay that way long though, and we ended up being a couple for a few months. If I’m being honest, we never should have been together; I knew in my gut I should have let her be. The breakup was very painful for me, I can’t say about her feelings. But any pain on either side is on me, because I didn’t listen to God or what I knew to be true.
 As bad as I hate to admit it, I guess I gave up on God bringing me together with the one who loves Him and is right for me. I grew too impatient when things didn’t go my way. I made a choice to do it my way rather than be single another moment His way. Even though I’m no fonder of being single than I was, hopefully at least I’ve grown a little wiser. I’ve learned once again about another topic why we should obey Him, that dos and donts are not just because He said so with no reasoning. 
If you’re in a relationship, here’s me hoping it’s the right one. If you’re single and patiently, or impatiently, waiting here’s me hoping you’ll stand on solid ground and wait on God. Of course God offers forgiveness, but there’s no eraser on our choices in this life nor an eraser for our brains. 


2 thoughts on “Freestyle

  1. Thanks for this. I also, briefly dated someone who I clicked with on all levels. He lost his job & pulled away from me & now he barely talks to me. Haven’t heard from him in almost a month now. It’s painful…very painful. I just pray for those of us who’ve been waiting a long time…that it happens soon. I’ve been divorced almost 12 years now & long for a family. My dad is long gone, grandparents long gone & my mom has mental issues (long story.) it just…hurts.

    • I’m sorry for your pain; I’ve felt the pain of loneliness many times. I’ve had girls draw away when I’d done no wrong to them also. I wish I could say something to help with the pain, truly. I know it hurts something fierce, because I’ve felt it. I just hold out hope that if I’m willing there can be purpose in my pain, and I pray the same for you!

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