Joy of tears

I’m not an overly emotional guy, well at least on the outside. The truth is I’m probably much more in touch with what I feel than the average guy, but I wear a much thicker poker face than him too (my perception at least based on peoples’ difficulty in reading me). One thing Jesus did in my life that I’m so thankful for but never saw coming are the tears. 
 Before age 20 I can think of two times I cried, and it’s not just because of a bad memory. My papaw passed when I was in kindergarten; I bawled. In fifth grade my friend twisted my arm too far behind my back while we played and wrestled; I bawled again. I sort of teared up while dealing with my girlfriend breaking up with me my senior year of high school, and that’s it. It wasn’t even really the poker face; I just didn’t feel. I didn’t care, about anyone or anything. My only concern was me. 
In 2007 Jesus changed my life forever; He removed my hardened heart and replaced it with one that could feel again. I still won’t claim I’m like jello or that my heart bleeds for every cause it should. But I’m different, and I’m grateful. Sometimes I feel like the old me again, but about that time a song, movie, or other stimulus comes along and brings tears to my eyes. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude each time that I can feel, I can love, I can care. My heart isn’t impenetrable anymore, and be them tears of joy or even of sorrow I thank my Father and Lord for them. We were meant to love, to love God and each other; that, my friend, requires feeling and for the ability to feel I’m forever grateful. 


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