I get it a lot; it comes in different forms but always virtually the same question.
“So who did you end up marrying?” No one yet, and I’m hoping since I made it this far I can coast the rest of the way in.
“Oh you’re single, well don’t worry you’ll find the right one one of these days.” Haha yeah that’s what I’m afraid of!
“What are you still doing unmarried?” Trying my best to keep it that way.
There are tons more, but you get the picture. At least once a week I have this brief interchange with someone about marriage and my lack thereof. Those responses are actually how I usually respond, although they’re not actually honest. People mean well, and I appreciate the sentiment; I just don’t want to have that conversation, especially since it ends in pity. So I divert and try to make them laugh instead.
Truth be told I really do want a marriage and not just any one mind you. I want to have a joy filled, lifelong marriage in which I love a wife second only to God and like Jesus loved(s) the Church. I’ve never been a traveler, but I want to if it makes her happy. I want to raise kids with her (maybe). If she wants dogs we will get one, or two (hopefully one). I want to take care of her, fix the annoying sound her car makes, hold her hand at insignificant times, send flowers to her work for no reason. I want a strong relationship full of deep conversation and decisions made together, both large and small. Sometimes I even feel a little pathetic when I wonder while getting ready to go somewhere if today might be the day. I’m all about love, and can hardly wait to share it with her.
Perhaps you share my enthusiasm; I’m afraid this post isn’t relevant to you at all if you don’t. Sorry, maybe next time. If you do then welcome to the club. The thing is, we’re not married. And the odds aren’t really in our favor for meeting future wife, or husband for the ladies, during this upcoming trip to Walmart or small Church gathering. It probably won’t be today or tomorrow; it may not even be this year. With that in mind we should probably be doing something productive in the mean time.
I won’t pretend to know a lot about marriage, but one thing I do understand: getting married is most certainly not the finish line. It’s another leg of the race. And if we’re planning on staying married till death then it is the last leg before eternity, which could likely the most difficult as a whole. Marriage will be a marathon, not a sprint. What would you say about a man or woman who signed up to run a marathon and never trained a single time beforehand? You’d call that person an idiot. It’s highly unlikely they will finish. They didn’t prepare; they’re not ready for the hills or the mind tricks. We need to make use of this time my friend in prayer, mindfulness, and discipline. We hope to complete the marathon, so why not start now getting ready? A person who doesn’t train and is out of shape will definitely run out of breath; it will make little difference how determined they are. Let’s start working on being humble, forgiving, kindness, looking at other peoples’ point of view, praying for others, patience , and other qualities of a joyful marriage now. Single problems will NOT go away in marriage; they’ll reappear as bigger ones. I know I still have plenty I’d like for God to change about me before that day. I think it’s wise to start now. What about you?
*In no way is this meant to say that two people who are already married cannot complete the race, just that it would be wise to prepare. I’m going on a limb here, but I think my married friends would all agree.