It was sunny and muggy when it happened; it wasn’t the first time. I wouldn’t quite call it “like clockwork”, but on average once a week is a fair estimate. You probably experience something similar.
Sundays are my favorite days of the week, and they’re also the worst. I play guitar in the praise band for the contemporary service where I attend, which is tough because it’s at 8:30 am. Still, I love playing and the opportunity to give my gift back to the giver. I love gathering with other sons and daughters who want to offer worship to God. I’m also incredibly grateful and in love with a day to rest each week. I rarely do anything the rest of the day except sleep and be lazy. For these reasons it’s my favorite. It’s the worst because of the baggage.
I’m single. Nothing new. Sometimes it’s by choice; sometimes it’s not. Sundays are the latter. I strive to remember who I am and what that means. I’m my Father’s son, which means I need nothing other than Him. I’m complete, made perfect by Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection. That’s hard to remember on Sunday’s. I’ve learned to do, and often enjoy, lots of things by myself. But on Sunday I often feel overcome by negative emotion. These things are the ones I’m really tired of doing alone. Going to worship service, watching movies at home or the theater, being lazy on the couch, making a shopping run all bring out the loneliness. Now in fairness there’s quite often a girl I’m talking to, but it’s not the same as being settled down.
I’ve never seen it written anywhere, but I don’t think it’s typically “ok” for guys to admit this sort of thing. Can’t say I care though. There’s not really a message here; no sermons, just an attempt to let you know you’re not the only one. Everyone you speak to, wave at, greet, all have down days. Mine are Sunday’s; yours may come at different times. But just know, I, we, have them too.